Give me new movies

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I am not of the mindset that new is always better. But there are a few things I love when they’re new. Movies are one of them. I do not like old movies. I like movies about old things. I like period pieces, but please do not ever put on an old movie for me. I’m not even talking about movies from the 50s. Seriously, I can’t stand a movie from the 90s either. Call it what you want. Call me a movie snob. It’s true. But I’d rather watch a new movie any day than watch an old one.

Exceptions are made. Obviously. As with anything, I will make an exception for certain films. The Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, The King and I and a few others are classics and utterly beautiful. I re-watch French Kiss, but as I told Ben last night, the reason for that is fantastic performances by Kevin Kline and Meg Ryan. I’ll also make exceptions for a few Audrey Hepburn movies, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Charade, and Sabrina. At Christmas, we yank out Home Alone or The Santa Claus (and I spend the entire movie pointing out plot holes and reminiscing over all the horrible fashion choices we made in the 90s. I do still find these films magical, but can we get some new Christmas movies that give us all the good vibes?) I will watch the original three Star Wars films, but if you are sitting next to me, you can expect quite a bit of heckling from the peanut gallery. I mean from me. I’m the peanut gallery.

The thing about new movies is that the colors are so beautiful, the depth of the research that goes into costume design, hair and makeup, set and even the story are all things that move me, that get me inspired. I can watch a film about the Tudors from now and from the 90s, and it will be the exact same characters and a loose representation of the history of this crazy family, but I will guarantee you I will like the new movie (or limited series) better. Even movies I loved as a kid are not as good now that a new version has come out.

I never thought any version of Little Women would ever make me fall in love like the Winona Ryder, Susan Sarandon version from 1994. Christian Bale was the love of my life back then. I basically fell in love with anything he was in (that I saw. Except the Machinist which was still intriguing but also freaky and frightening at the same time). But when Greta Gerwig’s interpretation came out, I realized everything that had been missing. The crazy thing is, I don’t even love the way that Greta Gerwig made her version a flashback. I am just so enthralled with the costuming, the sets, the way the actors all mesh so beautifully, the musical score. And Timothy Chalamet actually made the role of Laurie better. And that made me feel like I was completely disloyal to Christian.

The point is… New movies speak to me. Old movies may bring their own certain set of charms. I will appreciate the technological advances made, the movies that began the trend of using a full orchestra and musical score, the peek into a world I’ve never known. But I don’t think I’ll ever be able to relate to the manner of speaking, body language, the over-exaggeration in their acting, the way so many movies in the 80s seem to have filmed in the harshest lighting as if every scene was shot in LA at high noon. We don’t need to get into how many of them are actually quite offensive. I will never be able to get through Casablanca or fall in love with White Christmas. They’re not for me.

Give me new movies or give me… the ability to talk through them. You thought I was going to say death, didn’t you?

As with anything, generalizations are no good, because, as you can see, I have made so many exceptions to my rule, and every time I think I’ve seen enough old movies, Ben will pull one out of his arsenal that I have to nod at and say, “fine, that one was good”. I will admit to loving and will defend Dirty Rotten Scoundrels as being a great, hilarious, and very offensive film, and I will likely watch it over its female counterpart, The Hustle. But in general, I will prefer the HD, beautiful CGI, excellently and thoughtfully colored, intricately musically scored, modern-day interpretations of the movies and television shows.

So my question is. Does that make me a bad artist? Because I don’t think it does.

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