If I wasn’t so completely embarrassed by it, I would send songs to all my friends and family members to express how I feel. It’s a much more effective form of communication than talking, in my opinion.
I once took a quiz to determine my love languages in order. Gifting was at the top. It made me feel strange because it made me feel selfish. But then I remembered, it’s not just that I like to receive gifts (and I really do), it’s that I love to give gifts as well. And they aren’t always tangible. Music has always been something I have loved gifting. It’s perfect because it’s thoughtful and can perfectly express how I feel about someone or the situation we are in together. I also love to share the music I love with the people I love. It makes me feel connected. It’s actually how Ben and I started to become good friends.
I was in a piece, in my dance company, that was set to Since I’ve Been Loving You, Babe I’m Gonna Leave You, and Kashmir by Led Zeppelin. The music moved me. I loved the beat, the temperament, and for some reason, I felt like Ben would like the music too. We were acquainted at this point, friends in passing, not really that close. I reached out to him asking if he listened to any Led Zeppelin, and it turned out that he was currently in the process of trying to transpose Since I’ve Been Loving You to be played on the Tuba. I know, that’s a marching band kid for you. Since I’ve Been Loving You became our song when we started dating later that year.
Music isn’t just about telling. It’s about showing and feeling. When you listen to a piece of music that I will eventually send you after getting over the fear of seeming ridiculous, you will be able to feel the mood of what I’m trying to convey, you can hear the lyrics that tell you what I’m trying to say, you can hear the tone of my mood.