Stuck inside fiction

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I get stuck on a character or in a movie, in the world that is created in a really beautiful series, and I can’t get my head out.

This has been my experience since I was a little girl. When I was reading Harry Potter, all I wanted to do was stay in my room because, when I was in there, I was actually at Hogwarts, standing next to Harry and Hermione and Ron as they had their adventures and got admonished by Snape. When Twilight came out (yes, Twilight), I wanted to rewatch the movie over and over. I think I saw it four times in theaters, and I wanted to listen to the soundtrack because although the movie was questionable at best, the mood and the world connected with my romantic heart and stuck with me.

On Friday nights, when I was little and VHS was still a thing, my mom, sister, and I would watch all the recorded tapes of shows that we’d miss because of dance and school throughout the week. We had to do this or they would get recorded over. Oh, the good days. And between shows, I would feel my brain taking time to switch into the new genre, storyline, character headspace. It would be almost jarring for me to go between Gilmore Girls, Smallville, and Everwood. It would take me a minute to be pulled out of one world and thrown into another. Often, I didn’t want to leave the one to get to the next.

Now that I’m an adult, that hasn’t changed one bit. When I find a story, a movie, a show, a piece of music that I can escape into, all I want to do is escape into it, no matter how good my real life is going. And now that there is Netflix, HBO, Hulu, whatever-other-streaming-service ad nauseum, I can stay in one world for an entire season before I’m forced to relinquish my claim to it. And sometimes, when I’m particularly engrossed in a show, I’ll rewatch it until I just cannot watch it anymore before I move on.

I’m not sure if this is a healthy habit. I’m not sure if my obsession with being inside the world says something negative about my personality. But that’s who I am and how it is. I love the ability to see different things inside the world, and I love that these places I go to are so beautifully and skillfully crafted that I feel like I truly live inside them, that I’m friends with the characters, that their trials are mine. Even if just for a few hours.

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