The Power Of Least Interest

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Playing it cool is very difficult for me. Very difficult. But I do it. When I meet someone I want to be friends with or work with, I just want to be all in right in that moment and not have a moment to lose.

I will comment on every post you make. I will respond to your stories on the gram, and I will check every five minutes to see if you respond. I will want to have a full conversation with you. I will want to take you out for meals, cook meals for you, give you gifts. I will come across like a crazy person. Except I don’t actually do any of those things.

This is how I would act. This is how I would act if I wasn’t so scared of looking desperate and ridiculous of being more invested in the future friendship than you are.

When I was in school, I don’t know why, but a man came to our class and gave a presentation about the power of least interest. The person who cares the least comes out on top. Okay. Why would that be a thing that you teach kids in school? It’s horrible! And it stuck with me. Because, the truth is, that I’ve always cared with my whole heart. If I’m your friend, I am all in. When I meet you and hope to become your friend, I might be a little different.

I dip my toes in slowly. I try not to look too eager. I may wait a little while to respond to a text or cautiously allow the relationship to bloom at your pace, but the truth is that I’m probably sitting there with my phone open thinking about how to answer your text to sound “cool” or “chill” when, what I really want to do is, respond immediately. I try to make you come to me because I have been conditioned to think that if you think I care too much, you won’t like me.

Does anyone else do this to themselves? Just me? Please tell me it’s just me, that you and the rest of the world are all being open and outwardly excited to make and have friends. Does anyone get turned off by the people who are all in up front with no filter and no ability to hold back? No judgement here, but be honest with yourself.

Passion. Love. Honesty. Care. Those are all the qualities that make us good humans. Those are the qualities that make us do the job correctly, go above and beyond, be there for people when they really need us.

Little Interest. Indifference. Apathy. Those are all the qualities that make us lousy. We don’t work as hard, we won’t produce the best, we toss people aside when they don’t serve use anymore.

Who do you want to be? Which category? Because I want to pour my heart into my friends, and I want to make the best photographs I can. I’ll work on being vulnerable and open and not afraid to respond immediately to your message.

Will you?

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