This Season

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This is the season that always has me deep in thought. It’s one of my favorite times of the year, and yet, I’m always wondering whether I deserve to be celebrating Christmas.

I went to church off and on as a kid, and I know the Bible, generally speaking. I’ve read the stories and been read the stories, and I guess, if you had to label me, you could say I’m a Christian. I know more about Christianity than I do about other religions, but I don’t particularly practice religion at all.

It’s something I don’t necessarily discuss with anyone, let alone ever write about publicly because, well, it’s one of those subjects that can ruin a relationship. It’s such a personal and emotional thing, religion, and it’s something that is difficult to talk about without treading one someone else’s beliefs. But here I am, talking about it anyways.

I’m a skeptical, questioning person. I like to dig deeper, understand better. I can’t take things at face value. You can call me Thomas the Doubter, it’s pretty much the truth. Because of this, I often feel that Christmas is a holiday that I shouldn’t get to be a part of.

But, to me, Christmas is more than a religion-specific holiday. Faith is what draws me to it. Faith in God and in humanity. Christmas is about reverence and believing that true good is part of this world, that we will always be saved as long as we look to be better than we were yesterday. And, every time I begin to doubt my connection to Christmas, this is what brings me back to it.

My personal connection to God, my personal desire to be better, love harder, be closer to people, to inspire and uplift someone else is what makes me feel like I can and should and will celebrate Christmas for years to come.

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